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Three Episodes From Glee Season Four That Didn’t Suck

I was preparing a list of all of the worst performances of this season of Glee when I realised, where do I start? Baring in mind that Glee has approximately 130 performances a season, and from each season I have coincidently downloaded precisely 70-80 tracks (really, it’s uncanny) I can with the powers of mathematics conclude that 45% of everything Glee records, is either awful or immediately forgettable.

It’s easy to remember the good points, but when half the songs Glee spits out are so-so at best, pinpointing the points where Glee particularly crapped over the art of music is a little hard and exhausting. So why not focus on the good parts for now? God knows I’m negative the rest of the time. So lets take a moment to appreciate the good of the last Glee year, with my Top Three Favourite Episodes of Season Four.

3) I Do

A.k.a. The One Where Everyone Got Laid
Schue and Emma’s wedding falls apart and… Everyone seems to forget about it and celebrate anyway. That awkward moment when you don’t get laid on your wedding night but half your students do.
There was more sex in this episode than razor blades in Santana’s hair. Gay, lesbian, and disabled sex too!
Let’s face it, why do even watch Glee anymore? Because of the ships. So yeah, there’s an episode where Klaine make out in a car, sing a duet and get it on, and Santana uses her powers of mass seduction to introduce Quinn to the land of lady kisses… Who’s complaining? Not this girl.
As for the music, overall some of the more memorable songs of the series, especially (Not) Getting Married Today.

2) Guilty Pleasures

If it wasn’t for the fact that The Breakup pretty much blew the rest of the season away, Guilty Pleasures is pretty much the perfect Glee Episode. Silly, catchy songs: check. Homosexuals: check. No Will or Finn: check.
Every song is enjoyable, from Barry Manilow to The Spice Girls to Radiohead, nothing disappoints. After all, Glee is the ultimate guilty pleasure.

1) The Break Up

A.k.a. Let Us Rip Out Your Heart And Smush It Into Pulp
Nothing else in Season 4 can really compare to The Breakup, it’s all-around moving, well written, with good song choices. It’s a shame they burned up all that talent in the fourth episode.
And why is it called The Breakup anyway? Surely it should be called The BreakupS. All The Breakups. All Of Them.
But would it blow your mind if I was to ping out that there is really only one break up?
Finn and Rachel had already split in the finale of season three, Santana tells Brittany ‘this isn’t a break up’, and Blaine says he’s not sure if he and Kurt are broken up or not. And whatever relationship drama Will and Emma had that gave them right to join in on The Scientist, was not break up either. The only break up in the episode was actually between Jake and Kitty, when he dumped her ass in favour of Marly.
So there you have it. Did I blow your mind? Did I?


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Top Thirteen Songs of Glee Season 4

glee club

It’s the exciting finale of this year’s thrilling season of Glee, and although I imagine there’s gonna be some top-notch, memorable and totally-worthy-of-winning-a-national-competition performances, I’m gonna announce now what have personally been the musical highlights of this season.

I mean there’s just so much talent to pick from.




But I managed to narrow them down to just thirteen. Here we go, in roughly ascending order:

[EDIT: This post did originally feature youtube videos, but of course they stopped working, so i put some pictures up instead <3]


Girl On Fire – Santana

Gotta love a bit o’ Santana. She’s had quite a few awesome and well deserved solos this season for someone that only became a regular character again two thirds of the way in. This song is my favourite of them (And not just because I can pretend she’s singing That Boy Is A Bottom…)

The end sequence is particularly beautiful and inspiring, seeing her emerge from the subway station and onto the streets of New York. As sad as her leaving Brittany behind is, this ending just makes me very happy.


It’s Time – Blaine

Look at him. Just look at him, skipping and playing cup games. D’aww. Blaine encourages Kurt to go chase his dreams in NY the only way he knows how, through the medium of song. Obligatory first episode school courtyard song, no less. But it’s lovely and adorable, and the working in of the skipping rope and cup games, representing the childhood Kurt is leaving behind, sob sob etc. is pretty cool too.


Teenage Dream (Acoustic) – Blaine

As I’ve stated before – Proof that Ryan Murphy is pure evil and lives off the smell of fangirl/boy tears.

Blaine prepares to tell Kurt he has cheated… yes, through the medium of song. But with an acoustic, stripped down, live-performed version of the song he sang when they first met.


Don’t Speak – Finn, Rachel, Blaine & Kurt

Great cover. God, this episode was depressing.


Beauty-School Dropout – Blaine

Some more Blaine! I just love this song, the performance is perfect, and that sad little Kurt and Blaine eye contect…

Ok, that’s quite enough of that. On to the fun stuff:


Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee – Kitty

That’s more like it. Kitty quickly became my favourite newbie: she was a huge bitch, and now she has a heart AND is a huge bitch. Perf.


Little Girls – Sue

I’ve pretty much been waiting four years for this. Or, maybe, my whole life.


Mama Mia – Whole flippin Cast

Ok, awful cover. Just an awful, awful cover. But god do I love this performance. Doesn’t watching them dance around just warm your heart? Don’t the lyrics just sum up your relationship with Glee? I know it does for me.


Wake Me Up Before You Go-go – Blaine and Sam

Hey, this episode was about guilty pleasures! I’m allowed to enjoy this song. I’m allowed to enjoy watching Blaine jump around in shorts and fluffy hair. I’m allowed to enjoy Blaine and Sam acting incredibly heterosexual with each other.


Copacabana – Sam

Yeah, um, I really liked this episode. Copa! Copacabana!


I Still Believe/Super Bass – Sue and Blaine

Boy, is there a lot of Blaine in this list. But that’s not the important part here.

Sue is doing Nicki Manaj.


Old Time Rock & Roll/Danger Zone – New Direction Boys

Ok, it’s a Tom Cruise medley. Nuff said.


Creep – Rachel and Brody

Easily the best performance of the season. Just when you hate Brody so much you’re willing for Finn to kick his ass, he goes and pulls off this performance and… oh, he can sing. Like, really… wow. I mean, I know he lied and stuff, but… maybe we were being just a little hasty, I mean… does he have to go? Just a couple of solos first?


And a very Special Mention to:

Come What May – Kurt and Blaine

I’m not the biggest Moulin Rogue fan, so sue me. But Klaine fans have been wanting this since Baby it’s Cold Outside so I’m pretty happy it happened. Plus, I like how it was done, so classy and meaningful (which is more than I can say for that movie, but I’ve said too much).

Join me next time (i.e. after I’ve watched the finale) for the worst performances of the season!


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And That’s What You Missed On Glee!: Sadie Hawkins

I’ve already complained about this episode so I’ll try to hold on to my horses with the misogyny of this Gee Clap.

So in this totally normal and definitely female positive group the ‘Too Young To Be Bitter’ club, a bunch of unattached lasses get together to moan about being single and the likelihood of them dying alone.


They come up with the radical and completely unheard of idea of having a Sadie Hawkins dance, in order to bring the power back to the girls!


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And That’s What You Missed On Glee!: Glee Actually

I don’t quite understand the supposed link between this episode and the film Love Actually. First of all, I really want to write it with a comma: ‘Glee, Actually’. Secondly, yes, I get it Love Actually is about a bunch of separate stories at Christmas time interwoven and somehow linked loosely at the end, but isn’t that what Glee is anyway?

So what this episode attempts to do to recreate this by having five unrelated story lines, and rather than chopping them up like in a regular Glee episode – and, in fact, the movie Love Actually – they show the story lines in isolated lumps, one after another, and confusingly in non-chronological order. Kinda like  five mini episodes back to back, so you can appreciate each little Christmas Miracle separately. Or, you know, go off and make a cup of tea during the stories you don’t care about.

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And That’s What You Missed On Glee!: Swan Song

The last episode of Glee ended with the thrilling cliffhanger of Marly fainting at the end of their groundbreaking performance of Gangham Style at Sectionals.


Yeah Marly, you should feel pretty bad about yourself right now.

It’s ok though, Blaine has a juice carton.

Because of this the New Directions are unable to continue performing and are disqualified.


That’s right Finn, you screwed up!

The New Directions are disbanded, and Sue takes ownership of the Choir Room. Continue reading

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And That’s What You Missed On Glee!: Thanksgiving

Just when you really thought Glee couldn’t get any more ridiculous:


Glee are going to sing and dance Gangnam Style.

Remember when Finn came with the worst idea last episode? Foreigner songs in foreign languages in foreign costumes?

I’m pretty sure this idea is worse.


No, there is not, dreadlocks guy! We’re just gonna have ride to this out. Congrats on the line, by the way.

A bunch of the old glee members come back in time for sectionals, to help out the newer members.


Because, you know, they don’t have classes to attend, or anything.

This of course creates the perfect excuse to pair up the glee club members with the characters they’re poorly impersonating!

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Sadie Hawkins: Empowering Women! to Define their Lives by the Men they Date


Glee does an episode about a Sadie Hawkins dance – a dance where traditionally girls ask the guys – where the plot basically consists of a cast of female characters feeling upset that they haven’t got men in their lives, who take the opportunity to ask out men for the sake of a dance, and as a result feel ’empowered’ enough to have control over other aspects of their lives, and generally feel better about themselves.

Because they were able to ask some guys out.

Not just asking a guy to a regular dance regardless of gender roles, because you like him.

Not, say, just going to dance on your own and/or with friends because you want to have fun.

Not taking the opportunity of having ‘control’ over who you may ask to decide that you want to go alone.

Not feeling empowered enough to, say, join the football team or apply for a university scholarship regardless of if you once had a chance permitted to you by a school dance to ask who you want to go with.

Not, say, just not going to the dance altogether because its a bunch of misogynistic bullshit that maintains a structure that you must be of a certain gender to ‘have control’ over who you may or may not go with and therefore allows other dances to continue their boy-ask-girl social rule.

No – they are put into a situation where they have the option of either asking a guy or be there alone, a situation practically pressed upon them, and use this opportunity to desperately grab the first guy that will say yes to them (or to guilt a gay guy to go with you and then convince yourself that this means he returns your feelings).

The idea of Sadie Hawkins is fun, and yes reverses the gender roles, but the idea that it’s ’empowering’ to women is insulting. Hey girls, now it your turn to have the power over who you can date! How about encouraging women to ask out whoever they want, whenever they want, not just at one set aside dance?

I found it unacceptable that characters like Lauren Zizes and Sugar, who previously demonstrated power in their relationships and had guys fighting and proving themselves to be with them, couldn’t get up the courage to ask a guy out, and ended up sitting at the side at the dance, proclaiming themselves ‘losers’.

Why weren’t there groups of boys sitting at the side, upset that no one asked them? Why weren’t they seen freaking out about whether they’re pretty enough to get asked out? Why did they go to the dance, alone, and have fun with their friends regardless, while the girls – supposedly ‘in control’ of the dating situation – sit at the side?

These girls were afraid of asking, afraid of being rejected. In an earlier scene Tina is turned down – by a guy that a) has every right to say no if he so chooses, and b) is gay – and she describes it as the ‘most embarrassing moment she’s ever experienced in glee club’. The other girls are afraid of this humiliation too. So why aren’t men upset when they’re turned down?

What this suggests is that women are always at risk of getting hurt by male rejection. Whether its being offered or accepted, if they don’t have a date, then they’ve failed. They feel ashamed and ‘un-empowered’. They won’t go for that football scholarship. They will be doomed to an existence of loneliness and mediocrity, all because they did not have a date for that dance that one time.

Sadie Hawkins dances provide women with the means to claim a man for themselves, for there has to be a man out there that isn’t taken, right? And some man is better than no man, right? Sugar asks the guy she rejected last year. Lauren asks a guy she’s previously had no interaction with. Beiste went to her Sadie Hawkins with a guy that was stoned the whole time. But they felt so empowered, in that one moment of having a crummy guy attend a school dance with them, that they changed their lives and became better people. So inspiring, guys. I feel empowered as a women just writing this.

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