Category Archives: Personal Post

50TH POST SPECIAL: Six T-Shirts I Will/Might Be Wearing In 2014

This is the 50th post on my blog, so to celebrate I bring you a very super special awesome and important post featuring:


with special appearances from MY MAD PHOTO EDITING SKILLZ WITH MSPAINT so that YOU may have some idea to how I WILL/MIGHT look wearing said t-shirts!

1) Welcome To Night Vale Cecil & Carlos Shirt from TopatoCo


Welcome To Night Vale is a podcast, but it also an internet sensation. Yes, things without pictures can be good too! Also, there’s gays. 

2) 50% OFF Thug Seme Vest Top from Rodeo Arcade


50% OFF is an abridged series of the anime Free! and its SUPER GOOD AND GAY co-made by and co-starring Octopimp, who is a cool dude and voice actor who does alot of Homestuck stuff including but not limited to the voice of Eridan Ampora in Collab’s Let’s Read Homestuck. Also, it featrures LittleKuriboh. Little fucking Kuriboooohh. So yes, good thing, go watch.

Unfortunately, the shirt not 50% off #originaljoke

3) Homestuck Dave Strider Graphic Tee from What Pumpkin


Of course there had to a Homestuck shirt in here.

Me taking a selfie of Dave taking a selfie.

4) 2 Kawaii 4 U Shirt from TopatoCo


Finally, a shirt that sums up my existence.

  5) A Wizard Has Turned You Into a Whale Shirt from TopatoCo


Remember when Roy from IT Crowd wore this shirt that one time? Well now I can cosplay as Roy EVERYDAY.

Also, it’s made by the Dinosaur Comics guy.


6) Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged Foxy Boxes T-Shirt from Shark Robot

foxy boxes

Heh Heh, Foxy Boxes.

From the Marik Plays Bloodlines series, part of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged made by GOD AMONGST MEN LittleKuriboh.

Liiiitttlllee Kuuuriiiiboooohhh.


Here’s to Fabulous~ New Year full of new shirts!


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It’s been long over a year since I Graduated, and apparently I was far too busy doing very important and constructive things to write a post about it – or in fact any posts. So let’s have a look at What Steve Has Been Up To:

In all seriousness, I have two jobs. They suck. One of them I hate and the other won’t give me the hours I need. I put all my emotional and physical energy into working these little jobs and get paid squat. The job market sucks. I’m slowly dying inside. That’s the update.

As much spare time as I have, and as much as I want to do something productive and creative in that time, I find it hard to find the motivation. I’m stuck, stagnant. I come home exhausted and wake up exhausted. I’m uninspired. It’s like permanent writer’s block. It creates a loop of failure and disappointment and pessimism, and it’s hard to produce anything in that. It’s hard to put the time aside. Especially when all I want to do is sleep, and there always seems to be shit to do and never enough time.

This, my friends, is being an adult. And it sucks.

No, literally – sucks. The life and love and light and breathe out of you.

I can’t even gather enough energy to wash the dishes, so how can I sit down and write? And write well?

This month is November. It’s that last month in the year before the Christmas panic when we reflect on the last year and think, well fuck. That didn’t go the way I wanted it to.

That is so much the way I feel that I feel depressed just thinking about this little blog. I had such hopes and dreams for this blog! This year was supposed to be the year I rebound from my post-graduation slump and come into myself as a confident young woman!

Instead, that slump became a ditch. And if there is anyone, anyone, even fucking reading this blog – I apologise.

This is me, trying. Because this is all I can do. I’m not gonna attempt NaNoWriMo because that is a mountain, but I am ready to try to get into writing again because that’s sea-level… (you know, coz of the ditch metaphor…)

So yeah – see you around more often hopefully.


Also, in spirit of the best Halloween tradition ever – kawaii dressups:

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Words, Words, Words


Unfortunately, to be a writer you need to have a way with words.
I’m not good with words.
My relationship with words is alike to dancing with a partner who expects you to lead when you barely know the steps. A partner who has been led around the floor by the best dancers the world has known, the best movers, the quickest and most impressive footwork, those have taken the craft and made it their canvas; whilst I can just about slow-dance without tripping over my feet. I know the steps, I’ve leant them and watched them and studied them, but I always slip up, forget where to put my feet, how to hold my arms.
If I’m honest, I’m not interested in words. Why use a million ways to say big when you mean big.
If I’m honest, I’m more interested in the content of words.
I don’t care for how someone cried, or expressed, or proclaimed, or pondered their words, but what they were saying.
The everyday words that exit our mouths.
What I like about literature, about poetry, is that they are written down. They’re raw and bare. Not translated into images and sound. Somewhere out there is a piece of paper which someone wrote down some kind of feeling or meaning into a series of letters and punctuation. Not edited and cut and preened and filed down and flowered up. Not entered through some thesaurus application in a word document to find a fancier word for saying big when what you fucking said was big.
The everyday nonsense that leaves our mouths, unedited, unpracticed, untouchable once it has been said. The flow of our thoughts and words. The shit that spews out.
How do you edit your feelings and thoughts? They’re not controlled. They are complicated and simple minded, and why dress them up as something impressive when they are piles of beautiful, flawed, raw, unedited, simple rubbish. That is what I’m interested in, and that is what I express and nothing more.
I’m sorry I’m not more impressive minded. I’m sorry I don’t think in well-spun prose.
I don’t have a way with words. They escape me, and i am unable to control and perfect them. I have my words and that’s all I have, I’m afraid. And here they are.


[Image Credit:]

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It’s Been a While…

It’s been exactly a month since I’ve posted anything here, mostly because I’ve gotten a new job (huzzah!) and I’m not all that used to getting up before 9am or sleeping before 2am, so I’ve been a little preoccupied.

But that’s no excuse to leave my little blog so empty for so long, so I’m going to strive to keep posting here as much as possible! My new target is once a week, pushing it up to twice a week once I’ve got the ball rolling.

Another new target of mine – seeing as it’s a quarter of the year in, I can make new resolutions, right? – is to do more writing. I’ve been doing ok on that front overall, by typing up bits and pieces on my phone whenever I feel like it, and I’ll post about all that soon too. But I’m not actually sitting down and doing anything. Nothing is solid or forming into full drafts. It’s kind of lazy of me, so I need to start sorting that out. Over the last month I’ve done about three days of work based on that Script writing book I’ve been reading. And today and yesterday were days off and supposed to be my oh right Imma get down and get some motherfucking writing up in this joint but alas, nothing. So bloody lazy. And I’ve got cleaning to do. Meh.


Other New Quarter Resolutions are:

  • Play with rats more (Ideally, play with baby rats 1hour+ every day.) 


  • Read more 

I read The Virginia Monologues recently – Hilarity! – and am currently reading Battle Royale which is one of the longest books I’ve ever read, but completely awesome and brilliant and I’m about half way through so far.


  • Keep up a 25 minimum of work hours a week

My now two jobs both consist of 10 hours weekly, not including overtime, so I have to make sure I get enough overtime so I actually have enough money to live…

So there’s a lot of More in my new targets, but that’s probably because there’s a lot of not a whole lot happening in my life currently. It’s all baby steps, my friend.

I have a couple of posts drafted to update soon, so More is on it’s way…

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Distracting Myself With READING


I haven’t been posting much lately, because I’ve pretty much been super busy with work and stuff… Nah, just kidding. I’m still a useless lay-about. Mostly I’ve been reading, lots of important reading.

I’ve basically put aside the idea of going off to do an MA for a bit, partly because I can’t really decide what I should do. Should I go on with English Literature? Study Film? Or Screenwriting? Or just something awesome like Japanese Studies or Science Fiction?

It’s all giving me a headache, so I’m decided for now just to fuck it, fuck studying, and just read a shit-ton of books instead. I discovered that most of the modules I think look interesting include full reading lists on the website anyway, so until I can make a solid this is what I want to do with my life choice, I’m gonna knuckle down and ~educate myself~, as it were.

It’s kinda like a masters course, only it doesn’t cost thousands of £s and involves little to no essay writing!

The first book on my reading list is this:

Writing in Pictures: Screenwriting Made (Mostly) Painless


It seemed like a good place to start, a self-acclaimed no-bullshit introduction and guide to screenwriting, written by an actual screenwriter (always promising) and screenwriting university professor. So far the book is really good; the first few chapters basically talk about the nature of screenwriting as a profession, and as a writing form, and pretty much persuading the reader to avoid it at all costs – which is far enough, because it’s making sure you’re committed to the art. About twenty pages in, it pretty much confirmed my belief that screenwriting is something I’m passionate about – not only did it remind why I love it so much, but also helped me realise why I’m so shit at writing in other forms. Such as prose, I always write the dialogue first, and force myself to go back and insert description in between, ending up describing in detail where the characters’ eyes are looking or how they’re sitting. I tend to think ‘in pictures’, as it were. Further into the book involves writing exercises, which I’m pretty excited about.

Slightly less academically speaking, I’ve also been busying myself with:



Bakuman is a fantastic manga, written and illustrated by the same duo as Death Note. And whilst the writing is still clever, and the art still beautiful, the tone and theme couldn’t be more different – the anime presents it as practically shojo, although the manga itself is really more of a coming-of-age slice-of-life story. The two protagonists – young boys in middle school – team up with a dream to create manga together, and the comic follows their path with the complications and lessons along the way.

It’s pretty inspiring stuff, a touching and hilarious tale about a couple of kids wanting their dreams to come true, and learning how to do so without compromising their art. I recommend it to anyone with artistic or creative dreams – and it’s pretty down-to-earth and often brutally honest at times, so it doesn’t feel too washed over with magic and happiness (this is, after-all, from the parents of Death Note). I’ll emphasis again that it’s main charm is the clever writing – afterall, it’s a story about a couple of kids creating manga, what’s exciting about that? Well, a lot, as it happens. You really root for these characters, and believe in them more and more as they grow and mature. It’s got true heart, this manga.


The series also has an anime, which is excellent but unfortunately wasn’t too popular in the US as the dubbed series only ran for 7 episodes (!) although I would recommend watching them personally – for Shujin’s voice alone, which was just perfect. I know a lot of anime fans disagree with dubs but I happen to love a good English dub. Problems arise if the voices are all wrong (like the dub for the schoolgirl cast of K-On? Just creepy) or the dub is inaccurate, but having read the mangas I’d say the dialogue is pretty much spot-on – bar a couple of iffy comments about women and marriage, in which I was glad for some westernisation in those cases.

I’d also like to mention here the band Area 11 whose album All The Lights In The Sky is out and in the UK top 10  Indie Album chart this week, and whose song Dreams & Reality is based on Bakuman. The album also has songs based on anime such as Death Note, Cowboy Bebop, and Code Geass (also the namesake of the band), and video games too. Check them out!

And lastly, not strictly speaking (or non-strictly speaking) a book, but none-the-less time consuming and brilliant:



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Let’s Get Materialistic Here for a Sec

Here is some stuff that I want. I’m posting them because they are pretty and I want to be able to stare at them when I’m sad. These are all likely things I’ll take pictures of and say ‘oooh look how prettyyy~’ when I eventually get them.

So here are some things I will (hopefully) get:


Cost: £399

It’s been a couple of years – two exactly in fact – and it’s time to update. This goddamn beauty has everything I want or need in a computing device, and not just the ability to run things without over-heating (Note: my current laptop cannot do this). It has enough spec to play my games on (Sims 3 and Spore…) and a flashy camera and microphone built-in so I can record my face and stuff.

Cost: $20 + $22 + god knows how much $ for shipping

Homestuck is this awesome webcomic that’s got a lot of flash and interactive stuff and is the longest friggin’ thing in the world. Act 5 is gonna be twice the size of The Order of the Phoenix if they don’t cut it up.  It’s a bit dull in the beginning, and supposedly the books don’t pay the animated webcomic nearly enough justice, but goddammit do I want these books.

Evil CouncilYugioh Abridged: Screw The Rules Key Chain

Cost: $18 + £10 + IDEK how much $ for shipping

Yugioh Abridged! Giving money to LittleKuriboh! Need I say more?

Cost: £15 each

Pretty sure I was supposed to be getting these for Christmas. But I didn’t and now I need to pay for them myself.

But look how preettttyyy~

Cost: £25 each

Yeah, ok, I like the Sims. So, sue me. I like to make families and houses and shit. I like it and I want to enhance my experience of it.



Release date: Jan 24th & March ’13

Yes more Sims. When I have my new laptop I can have ALL of the expansion packs. All of them.

But seriously looking forward to University Life. That was my favourite Sims 2 Expansion pack, and now I can use it to relive the Uni experience whenever I want!

My Sims are gonna get so drunk

Release date: Feb ’13

Perks is one of my favourite ever books, and I’m very nervous about seeing the movie in case it will ruin the book for me yada yada yada. But the same time I really want to see it. I didn’t see it in the cinema, so I’m saving myself for the DVD. That way I can do a fun screen cap review of it, analyzing all the ways it murdered my childhood.

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New year, new Steve?


New Years resolutions are troublesome, stressful things.

We make empty promises to ourselves, give up after a couple of half-hearted attempts at being the new persona you imagined you’d miraculously acquire come Jan 1st, become disheartened by the worsening weather, binge on chocolates and DVDs bought on New Years discounts, and stay indoors til Valentines Day. Exercise videos and nicotine patches make money off our delusions. TV pretends this will be the best year ever. Everything feels the same as before.

I have never believed in New Years resolutions for these reasons, and of course from being completely content with my perfect self-ness, but I am gonna give it ago this year anyway. And here’s why:

1) Post-Graduation Slump. As the title of this blog says, I’ve graduated and my life since has been pretty lazy. Not even good, doing all the stuff I’ve always wanted to do lazy. Just laze around watch a lot of YouTube videos and sleep til midday but still somehow feel tired all the time lazy. I need to start the new chapter of my life. I need to get the ball rolling and quit sitting around doing nothing.

2) I am not entirely 100% happy with my job. Like, at all. It’s maybe slightly destroying my soul. My excuse for staying is that the job market isn’t good, and it’s not, but I could at least try to find something vaguely related to something I’m interested in or at least something less mind-numbingly agonising.

3) On top of graduation and work slumps I’ve also got the regular old slumpy slump, where I can’t feel motivated or in fact positive about pretty much anything due to issues in the area of mental health. So it might be good to work on that too.

4) I’d like to look into the possibility of doing an MA in the foreseeable future – current plan: Sept 2014 – but to do that I kind of need money. And I don’t have any.

5) My house is dirty and messy, I’m late for everything, and I’m awful with money.

In short: my life is a bit of a mess. It’s not pretty, and it’s not happy. I’ve got my home, and my girl, and my ratties, and my family, and everyone’s healthy and comfortable, but it could be better, and I can make it better, and if I don’t pull myself together it might get worse, and frankly I’m an idiot if I don’t do anything about it. Because this is my life and I have everything ahead of me, I just need to get it started.

I’m going to get it together this year.

So my resolutions, in relation to my current problems:

1) I’m gonna start doing things:

a) going on walks
b) writing, and maybe writing classes
c) this goddamn blog
d) trying new things
e) anything else I feel inspired to do

And no excuses or opting out.

I’ve already written this blog entry, and dyed my hair red, so


2) Get a new job. Ok let’s try an easier one: Apply for jobs. Look for jobs. Regularly.

3) I’ve already started this one by taking new medication and applying for counselling, so hopefully all will be well in time.

4) This is connected to the job one, but I need to save money. My plan is to save about £5,000 by the end of the year, but lets see how that goes. First of all I need to have a job earning me more than 100 flipping £ a week, and to get out of my overdraft… Oh the life of an ex-student!

5) I have a nice little daily checklist of things to do around the house. So far I haven’t been following it too closely. Hopefully that’ll get better.
I’m also making sure I check my bank account regularly, leave my house early to go anywhere, and stay away from fucking Amazon.

So that’s my plan for 2013. I hope it’s a good year, or at least one that doesn’t suck as bad as 2012.

Out, bitches! Happy New Year!


(New Glee-caps and Who-caps coming soon!)

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