Unfortunately, to be a writer you need to have a way with words.
I’m not good with words.
My relationship with words is alike to dancing with a partner who expects you to lead when you barely know the steps. A partner who has been led around the floor by the best dancers the world has known, the best movers, the quickest and most impressive footwork, those have taken the craft and made it their canvas; whilst I can just about slow-dance without tripping over my feet. I know the steps, I’ve leant them and watched them and studied them, but I always slip up, forget where to put my feet, how to hold my arms.
If I’m honest, I’m not interested in words. Why use a million ways to say big when you mean big.
If I’m honest, I’m more interested in the content of words.
I don’t care for how someone cried, or expressed, or proclaimed, or pondered their words, but what they were saying.
The everyday words that exit our mouths.
What I like about literature, about poetry, is that they are written down. They’re raw and bare. Not translated into images and sound. Somewhere out there is a piece of paper which someone wrote down some kind of feeling or meaning into a series of letters and punctuation. Not edited and cut and preened and filed down and flowered up. Not entered through some thesaurus application in a word document to find a fancier word for saying big when what you fucking said was big.
The everyday nonsense that leaves our mouths, unedited, unpracticed, untouchable once it has been said. The flow of our thoughts and words. The shit that spews out.
How do you edit your feelings and thoughts? They’re not controlled. They are complicated and simple minded, and why dress them up as something impressive when they are piles of beautiful, flawed, raw, unedited, simple rubbish. That is what I’m interested in, and that is what I express and nothing more.
I’m sorry I’m not more impressive minded. I’m sorry I don’t think in well-spun prose.
I don’t have a way with words. They escape me, and i am unable to control and perfect them. I have my words and that’s all I have, I’m afraid. And here they are.
[Image Credit: http://jennadoesbooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/words.gif]