I’ve already complained about this episode so I’ll try to hold on to my horses with the misogyny of this Gee Clap.
So in this totally normal and definitely female positive group the ‘Too Young To Be Bitter’ club, a bunch of unattached lasses get together to moan about being single and the likelihood of them dying alone.
They come up with the radical and completely unheard of idea of having a Sadie Hawkins dance, in order to bring the power back to the girls!
Sharon Beiste supports the old maid’s club with a touching tale of attending her High School Sadie Hawkins dance with a stoned guy and how it inspired her to change her life and reach for her dreams! Girl Power!
The guys feel emasculated and objectified by this crazy reversal of the normal social order!
Meanwhile Tina’s secret intentions behind the dance is revealed when she admits to the fourth wall that she has found the man of her dreams…
~BONUS FAN SERVICE~
Tina finds the courage to ask Blaine to the dance through the medium of solo… Coz there’s no point waiting around for the gay guy to ask you out! Go after your man gurl!
She picks a completely appropriate song to make her confession and everyone is backing her up on her courage and empowerment!
Blaine politely lets her down.
Only to reveal that he likes someone else. A male someone else. Someone else who is male. Not female. And not Tina.
But unfortunately said guy, Sam, is straight – as has been proven in the affairs he had with pretty much every girl in the Glee Club.
So he ends up going with Tina, who treats the situation maturely and completely platonically.
Only to be cockblocked by the power of Blam!
And their plot to reveal Dalton Academy for the cheating lying steroid-taking bastards that they are.
Meanwhile Kurt also learns the importance of female empowerment! (because he’s practically a girl too, right?!)
Rachel tries to talk him out of joining a Glee Club, coz apparently they’re even less cool than they are at high school.
Kurt, joining a Glee Club? On Glee? How dare you!
I don’t care if Starkid’s Joey Richter is in the club, this is just inexplicable…
But he’s been having some serious chemistry with the… Australian? British? Leader of said club.
Rachel, who apparently is a fountain of knowledge this episode, guides Kurt in the way of love and encourages him to take the lead and ask this guy out. You know, she would be the expert, having a boyfriend and everything.
Meanwhile the thrilling reveal to who Kitty’s new squeeze will be is…
I have to say I would be presently surprised, I admitted myself that those two would be a good match… until it was pointed out that it’s statutory rape.
But what’s this? The member’s of the Old Maid’s Club sitting on the side by themselves at the dance?
You mean that even though they had the one chance in their entire lives to ask a boy out themselves and they still ended up sitting on the side? Well, someone’s gotta talk some female empowerment into these girls!
Come on, strong independent ladies! Grab the first boy that no one else wanted now! It’s your last chance to feel worth something for once in your miserable single lives!
Crummy dates: ACHIEVED.
You too, Kurt! Embrace that female empowerment!
New romantic interest: UNLOCKED.
Rachel, engage crazy relationship step with the power of female empowerment.
Crazy suggestion: DEPLOYED.
So the girls, and Kurt, thanks to the power of Sadie Hawkins all learnt the important lesson of being empowered as women. So much so that it made them feel ’empowered’ enough to do great things with their lives, find potential crappy boyfriends, and live happily ever after.
We end this story of inspiration with an obligatory shot of Blaine moping over a guy.