The last episode of Glee ended with the thrilling cliffhanger of Marly fainting at the end of their groundbreaking performance of Gangham Style at Sectionals.
It’s ok though, Blaine has a juice carton.
Because of this the New Directions are unable to continue performing and are disqualified.
That’s right Finn, you screwed up!
The New Directions are disbanded, and Sue takes ownership of the Choir Room.
Despite of the fact that she has finally managed to see the day that the glee club has been destroyed she can’t help but sense inside her cold dark heart a strange empty feeling.
That’s how I feel watching this season.
That works too.
She can’t help but think where these Glee kids will end up now they have no direction…
No, they’ve just joined different, far more nerdy, clubs.
Artie’s in the marching band, the Marly Rose Fan Club are in the basketball team…
Unique is on the Hockey team… Gurl that is not fabulous.
That Christian dreadlocks dude is in a multi-religious paint-balling club
Blaine and Tina have joined the Cheerios
There’s one person who is glad to leave though!
Brad, the piano guy!
Sam and Brittany keep busy with an out-of-the-blue love-confession-through-duet, followed by a totally meta message to the angry lesbians of the internet that love is love man and they should get over it and let the Het happen.
Meanwhile on The Kurt and Rachel Show,
Whoopi Goldberg is handing out exclusive invitation to some sort of singing competition event that Freshmen never get invited to and I wonder whose gonna get a ticket…
To prove her abilities as biggest star in the whole goddamn world Rachel warms up for the event with a slut-off with her teacher
Again, with dancing that can more suitably described as ‘being carried around the room a lot’
Rachel sings two grueling solos and wins the super special award that no Freshman in the history of NYADA has ever ever won, proving yet again that she is the special queen of everything.
Random Audience Member Girl is really enjoying these two grueling solos. Look how inspired she is.
Whoopi Goldberg announces suddenly and unexpectantly that she wants Kurt to sing that solo she was going to spring on him when he was least expecting it at the singing event we all knew he’d end up singing at.
And she lets him into NYADA!
Rachel rings Finn to tell him the good news about her win. Her super awesome win win win winwin win.
Finn goes on to feel the biggest loser in the world, and so he packs up the Glee club’s trophys, surrounded by scantily dressed cheerleaders, and cardboard cut-outs of Sue yelling at him.
He holds a last Glee Club meeting, but only Marly THETRAITOR Rose turns up.
And that’s the end of Glee Club.
HAHA JUST KIDDING THERE’S MORE
You thought it was over, but there’s more!
Finn in a sudden burst of inspiration – and the effing tune of The Breakfast Club playing in the background, I kid you not – he writing out an inspiring teacher-ly email to the Glee kids.
And they all gather in the school courtyard after school hours and sing an inspirational song together about staying together forever or something probably.
~BONUS CROUCH SHOTS~