New year, new Steve?

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New Years resolutions are troublesome, stressful things.

We make empty promises to ourselves, give up after a couple of half-hearted attempts at being the new persona you imagined you’d miraculously acquire come Jan 1st, become disheartened by the worsening weather, binge on chocolates and DVDs bought on New Years discounts, and stay indoors til Valentines Day. Exercise videos and nicotine patches make money off our delusions. TV pretends this will be the best year ever. Everything feels the same as before.

I have never believed in New Years resolutions for these reasons, and of course from being completely content with my perfect self-ness, but I am gonna give it ago this year anyway. And here’s why:

1) Post-Graduation Slump. As the title of this blog says, I’ve graduated and my life since has been pretty lazy. Not even good, doing all the stuff I’ve always wanted to do lazy. Just laze around watch a lot of YouTube videos and sleep til midday but still somehow feel tired all the time lazy. I need to start the new chapter of my life. I need to get the ball rolling and quit sitting around doing nothing.

2) I am not entirely 100% happy with my job. Like, at all. It’s maybe slightly destroying my soul. My excuse for staying is that the job market isn’t good, and it’s not, but I could at least try to find something vaguely related to something I’m interested in or at least something less mind-numbingly agonising.

3) On top of graduation and work slumps I’ve also got the regular old slumpy slump, where I can’t feel motivated or in fact positive about pretty much anything due to issues in the area of mental health. So it might be good to work on that too.

4) I’d like to look into the possibility of doing an MA in the foreseeable future – current plan: Sept 2014 – but to do that I kind of need money. And I don’t have any.

5) My house is dirty and messy, I’m late for everything, and I’m awful with money.

In short: my life is a bit of a mess. It’s not pretty, and it’s not happy. I’ve got my home, and my girl, and my ratties, and my family, and everyone’s healthy and comfortable, but it could be better, and I can make it better, and if I don’t pull myself together it might get worse, and frankly I’m an idiot if I don’t do anything about it. Because this is my life and I have everything ahead of me, I just need to get it started.

I’m going to get it together this year.

So my resolutions, in relation to my current problems:

1) I’m gonna start doing things:

a) going on walks
b) writing, and maybe writing classes
c) this goddamn blog
d) trying new things
e) anything else I feel inspired to do

And no excuses or opting out.

I’ve already written this blog entry, and dyed my hair red, so

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2) Get a new job. Ok let’s try an easier one: Apply for jobs. Look for jobs. Regularly.

3) I’ve already started this one by taking new medication and applying for counselling, so hopefully all will be well in time.

4) This is connected to the job one, but I need to save money. My plan is to save about £5,000 by the end of the year, but lets see how that goes. First of all I need to have a job earning me more than 100 flipping £ a week, and to get out of my overdraft… Oh the life of an ex-student!

5) I have a nice little daily checklist of things to do around the house. So far I haven’t been following it too closely. Hopefully that’ll get better.
I’m also making sure I check my bank account regularly, leave my house early to go anywhere, and stay away from fucking Amazon.

So that’s my plan for 2013. I hope it’s a good year, or at least one that doesn’t suck as bad as 2012.

Out, bitches! Happy New Year!

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(New Glee-caps and Who-caps coming soon!)

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