Monthly Archives: January 2013

And That’s What You Missed On Glee!: Thanksgiving

Just when you really thought Glee couldn’t get any more ridiculous:

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Glee are going to sing and dance Gangnam Style.

Remember when Finn came with the worst idea last episode? Foreigner songs in foreign languages in foreign costumes?

I’m pretty sure this idea is worse.

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No, there is not, dreadlocks guy! We’re just gonna have ride to this out. Congrats on the line, by the way.

A bunch of the old glee members come back in time for sectionals, to help out the newer members.

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Because, you know, they don’t have classes to attend, or anything.

This of course creates the perfect excuse to pair up the glee club members with the characters they’re poorly impersonating!

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Sadie Hawkins: Empowering Women! to Define their Lives by the Men they Date

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Glee does an episode about a Sadie Hawkins dance – a dance where traditionally girls ask the guys – where the plot basically consists of a cast of female characters feeling upset that they haven’t got men in their lives, who take the opportunity to ask out men for the sake of a dance, and as a result feel ’empowered’ enough to have control over other aspects of their lives, and generally feel better about themselves.

Because they were able to ask some guys out.

Not just asking a guy to a regular dance regardless of gender roles, because you like him.

Not, say, just going to dance on your own and/or with friends because you want to have fun.

Not taking the opportunity of having ‘control’ over who you may ask to decide that you want to go alone.

Not feeling empowered enough to, say, join the football team or apply for a university scholarship regardless of if you once had a chance permitted to you by a school dance to ask who you want to go with.

Not, say, just not going to the dance altogether because its a bunch of misogynistic bullshit that maintains a structure that you must be of a certain gender to ‘have control’ over who you may or may not go with and therefore allows other dances to continue their boy-ask-girl social rule.

No – they are put into a situation where they have the option of either asking a guy or be there alone, a situation practically pressed upon them, and use this opportunity to desperately grab the first guy that will say yes to them (or to guilt a gay guy to go with you and then convince yourself that this means he returns your feelings).

The idea of Sadie Hawkins is fun, and yes reverses the gender roles, but the idea that it’s ’empowering’ to women is insulting. Hey girls, now it your turn to have the power over who you can date! How about encouraging women to ask out whoever they want, whenever they want, not just at one set aside dance?

I found it unacceptable that characters like Lauren Zizes and Sugar, who previously demonstrated power in their relationships and had guys fighting and proving themselves to be with them, couldn’t get up the courage to ask a guy out, and ended up sitting at the side at the dance, proclaiming themselves ‘losers’.

Why weren’t there groups of boys sitting at the side, upset that no one asked them? Why weren’t they seen freaking out about whether they’re pretty enough to get asked out? Why did they go to the dance, alone, and have fun with their friends regardless, while the girls – supposedly ‘in control’ of the dating situation – sit at the side?

These girls were afraid of asking, afraid of being rejected. In an earlier scene Tina is turned down – by a guy that a) has every right to say no if he so chooses, and b) is gay – and she describes it as the ‘most embarrassing moment she’s ever experienced in glee club’. The other girls are afraid of this humiliation too. So why aren’t men upset when they’re turned down?

What this suggests is that women are always at risk of getting hurt by male rejection. Whether its being offered or accepted, if they don’t have a date, then they’ve failed. They feel ashamed and ‘un-empowered’. They won’t go for that football scholarship. They will be doomed to an existence of loneliness and mediocrity, all because they did not have a date for that dance that one time.

Sadie Hawkins dances provide women with the means to claim a man for themselves, for there has to be a man out there that isn’t taken, right? And some man is better than no man, right? Sugar asks the guy she rejected last year. Lauren asks a guy she’s previously had no interaction with. Beiste went to her Sadie Hawkins with a guy that was stoned the whole time. But they felt so empowered, in that one moment of having a crummy guy attend a school dance with them, that they changed their lives and became better people. So inspiring, guys. I feel empowered as a women just writing this.

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And That’s What You Missed On Glee! Dynamic Duets

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Just when you thought Glee couldn’t get any sillier.

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How silly is this episode?

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First of all, the glee club members have superhero identities:

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Huzzah, racism. (Should have gone with the Invisible Girl)

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Let’s Get Materialistic Here for a Sec

Here is some stuff that I want. I’m posting them because they are pretty and I want to be able to stare at them when I’m sad. These are all likely things I’ll take pictures of and say ‘oooh look how prettyyy~’ when I eventually get them.

So here are some things I will (hopefully) get:

WHEN I HAVE THE MONEY

Cost: £399

It’s been a couple of years – two exactly in fact – and it’s time to update. This goddamn beauty has everything I want or need in a computing device, and not just the ability to run things without over-heating (Note: my current laptop cannot do this). It has enough spec to play my games on (Sims 3 and Spore…) and a flashy camera and microphone built-in so I can record my face and stuff.

Cost: $20 + $22 + god knows how much $ for shipping

Homestuck is this awesome webcomic that’s got a lot of flash and interactive stuff and is the longest friggin’ thing in the world. Act 5 is gonna be twice the size of The Order of the Phoenix if they don’t cut it up.  It’s a bit dull in the beginning, and supposedly the books don’t pay the animated webcomic nearly enough justice, but goddammit do I want these books.

Evil CouncilYugioh Abridged: Screw The Rules Key Chain

Cost: $18 + £10 + IDEK how much $ for shipping

Yugioh Abridged! Giving money to LittleKuriboh! Need I say more?

Cost: £15 each

Pretty sure I was supposed to be getting these for Christmas. But I didn’t and now I need to pay for them myself.

But look how preettttyyy~

Cost: £25 each

Yeah, ok, I like the Sims. So, sue me. I like to make families and houses and shit. I like it and I want to enhance my experience of it.

WHEN IT COMES OUT (AND I HAVE MONEY)

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Release date: Jan 24th & March ’13

Yes more Sims. When I have my new laptop I can have ALL of the expansion packs. All of them.

But seriously looking forward to University Life. That was my favourite Sims 2 Expansion pack, and now I can use it to relive the Uni experience whenever I want!

My Sims are gonna get so drunk

Release date: Feb ’13

Perks is one of my favourite ever books, and I’m very nervous about seeing the movie in case it will ruin the book for me yada yada yada. But the same time I really want to see it. I didn’t see it in the cinema, so I’m saving myself for the DVD. That way I can do a fun screen cap review of it, analyzing all the ways it murdered my childhood.

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Kitty’s ‘New Flavour’ – Who could it be?

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Anyone who watches Glee will know that a McKinley Sadie Hawkins dance means three things:

1) following the tradition of the ever popular Prom episodes, there will be a big event with stage performances, dancing and dressing up.

2) Blaine will reflect back on the infamous Sadie Hawkins Dance Incident that lead to Blaine’s 1st (of many) school transfer: him and his date getting gay-bashed. I know the fandom is very much split between those that worship Darren Criss from toes to eyebrows, and those that wish for a world where Glee will go more than two episodes without him having a solo, but for the former group getting to see this important part of back story is pretty exciting.

3) Relationship drama. This time with the added bonus of an event where girls get the power of picking their partners. This episode will be no exception. Not only will be seeing some action with the Marly/Jake/Ryder fiasco, and some Tina/Blaine/Sam/Brittany/Santana drama to boot, but according to recent spoilers, Kitty in particular has got her eye on someone.

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Why do I care? Because Kitty is a strange, intriguing character. Totally evil and mental, but compelling.
And I’m curious to what Murphy thinks the glee club have to offer her in the way of romance.

So let me take you through the eligible options here:

Kartie

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Artie has been sorely lacking in the area of romance since his break up with Brittany two seasons ago, even being ditched by Sugar for a 2D cut-out of a leprechaun, so he’s in need of some lovin’. Why exactly these two character would hook up is beyond me, but that’s never stopped the Glee writers before.

Kitseph

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Apart from his brief thing with Quinn, which concluded with him considering ditching his religious beliefs in favour of getting some ass, Joe has barely had any storylines since his character was introduced, let alone romance. Hooking up is always the go-to method of giving a character some screen time on this show, so it wouldn’t be completely out of the question for him to be Kitty’s new flame. Again, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but at least with both of them being Christian they do actually share something vaguely in common.

Fitty

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Finn’s single now, and obviously desperate, and she could probably see the benefit in getting involved with someone in a power of authority over her. Finn isn’t nearly moral enough, or strong-willed enough for that matter, to object to the teacher/student implications, and he does like being bossed around. All things considering though, she could do better.

Puckitty

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What with Puck back in town, he’ll be looking a lady for sure. On paper it works perfectly, a couple of bad-ass hotties, taking over Lima together with the power of their voices and pure sexual magnetism. But if there’s anything we know about Puck is that he’s not a fan of girls younger than him, he stays far away from the crazies, and he probably wouldn’t go after his brother’s ex. Would create drama though…

Titty

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Great name, but Tina already has a storyline that episode and I’m pretty sure that fills her quota for the rest of the season.

Kugar

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Supposedly Sugar also has her eye on someone new, so could these two be thing? Lets see, they’re both cute, sassy, self-centered, potentially bi-curious, batshit crazy… I ship it already. Unfortunately they’re also the two most eligible chicks on the show, and pairing them up will remove them from the dating pool for the men of the show. They’ve got to at least whore them around a bit first.

Kittique

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If they going to give Unique a love interest it’ll most likely be male, otherwise the sexual politics will be too much for Glee to handle, especially in the space of a single episode. Plus, Unique can do much better.

Klauren

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Lauren to rumoured to return this episode, rejoice! Somehow though, the only scenario I can imagine Lauren and Kitty interacting would involve Kitty making some popular culture reference quip about Lauren’s size, and Lauren breaking her in two because she can finish the sentence.

Karly

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What? You don’t ship it? It’s practically canon. If I’ve learnt anything from fanfiction – and the Kurtofsky storyline – it’s that bullying is stemmed from secret and unrequited homosexual feelings. It practically writes itself. Plus, think how much more complicated it would make the Marly/Jake/Ryder/Kitty love rhombus!

Conclusion:
Let’s face reality for a second, I know it’s hard when it comes to Glee, but bare with me here. When Glee says ‘unlikely couple’ they don’t mean a relationship you wouldn’t have guessed but works out really well, it means a relationship you totally saw coming between two conveniently unattached characters who have no chemistry – that’s if they’ve ever even spoken to each other – and are written into a corner for the sake of ‘story lines’.
In this example, Artie and Joe are available and haven’t been up to much lately, so will naturally be paired up with Kitty and Sugar. I want very much for Glee to surprise me, but you know how it is with this show, Sugar and Kitty would all be fighting over White Chocolate if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s already been paired off with fellow blonde air-head Brittany.
So make way for Sugtie and Koshep!

See in the next episode for the thrilling reveal!

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And That’s What You Missed On Glee!: Glease Pt 2

It’s been a while, but with the Glee hiatus coming to a close, and new episodes starting up again, I figure now’s the time to catch up on my GLEECAPS

So here’s what you missed on

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Season 4, Episode 6 ‘Glease’

Mr Shue announces his upcoming  temporary absence from the Glee Club, and appoints our favourite chair-kicking, baby-insulting guy to take over the difficult task of writing weekly words on a board.

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Remember this guy? He shot himself with an army gun and has nothing better to do with his life?

Everyone is super happy about this news.

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Especially Sue.

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New year, new Steve?

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New Years resolutions are troublesome, stressful things.

We make empty promises to ourselves, give up after a couple of half-hearted attempts at being the new persona you imagined you’d miraculously acquire come Jan 1st, become disheartened by the worsening weather, binge on chocolates and DVDs bought on New Years discounts, and stay indoors til Valentines Day. Exercise videos and nicotine patches make money off our delusions. TV pretends this will be the best year ever. Everything feels the same as before.

I have never believed in New Years resolutions for these reasons, and of course from being completely content with my perfect self-ness, but I am gonna give it ago this year anyway. And here’s why:

1) Post-Graduation Slump. As the title of this blog says, I’ve graduated and my life since has been pretty lazy. Not even good, doing all the stuff I’ve always wanted to do lazy. Just laze around watch a lot of YouTube videos and sleep til midday but still somehow feel tired all the time lazy. I need to start the new chapter of my life. I need to get the ball rolling and quit sitting around doing nothing.

2) I am not entirely 100% happy with my job. Like, at all. It’s maybe slightly destroying my soul. My excuse for staying is that the job market isn’t good, and it’s not, but I could at least try to find something vaguely related to something I’m interested in or at least something less mind-numbingly agonising.

3) On top of graduation and work slumps I’ve also got the regular old slumpy slump, where I can’t feel motivated or in fact positive about pretty much anything due to issues in the area of mental health. So it might be good to work on that too.

4) I’d like to look into the possibility of doing an MA in the foreseeable future – current plan: Sept 2014 – but to do that I kind of need money. And I don’t have any.

5) My house is dirty and messy, I’m late for everything, and I’m awful with money.

In short: my life is a bit of a mess. It’s not pretty, and it’s not happy. I’ve got my home, and my girl, and my ratties, and my family, and everyone’s healthy and comfortable, but it could be better, and I can make it better, and if I don’t pull myself together it might get worse, and frankly I’m an idiot if I don’t do anything about it. Because this is my life and I have everything ahead of me, I just need to get it started.

I’m going to get it together this year.

So my resolutions, in relation to my current problems:

1) I’m gonna start doing things:

a) going on walks
b) writing, and maybe writing classes
c) this goddamn blog
d) trying new things
e) anything else I feel inspired to do

And no excuses or opting out.

I’ve already written this blog entry, and dyed my hair red, so

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2) Get a new job. Ok let’s try an easier one: Apply for jobs. Look for jobs. Regularly.

3) I’ve already started this one by taking new medication and applying for counselling, so hopefully all will be well in time.

4) This is connected to the job one, but I need to save money. My plan is to save about £5,000 by the end of the year, but lets see how that goes. First of all I need to have a job earning me more than 100 flipping £ a week, and to get out of my overdraft… Oh the life of an ex-student!

5) I have a nice little daily checklist of things to do around the house. So far I haven’t been following it too closely. Hopefully that’ll get better.
I’m also making sure I check my bank account regularly, leave my house early to go anywhere, and stay away from fucking Amazon.

So that’s my plan for 2013. I hope it’s a good year, or at least one that doesn’t suck as bad as 2012.

Out, bitches! Happy New Year!

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(New Glee-caps and Who-caps coming soon!)

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