So, in my last post I put some sneaky peeks to my Halloween costume when it was in it’s developing stages, so here we have it in it’s completed form:
I know, I know. I can’t help it, it’s a gift.
It was all going so well.
The dress was so beautiful I wanted to wear it on my wedding day.
When I was putting my wig and make up on I felt like I was looking at a completely different person in the mirror.
It was amazeballs.
But it looked like Halloween had a few tricks in plan for me.
No, but seriously I have never had a costume that required so much preparation and yet caused so much trouble.
Here are some things I learnt that night:
- Fake nails are just about the worst thing ever.
You can’t pick up anything.
I couldn’t even use my phone. Seriously, what the fuck is up with that shit.
- – actually, the only thing worse than false nails is nail glue.
IT GOT EVERYWHERE. My hands are were caked in the stuff.
It got on my TEETH.
- I should probably stop just safety pinning fabric together and calling them outfits.
Ends badly. Especially when wearing fake nails.
- False eyelashes are silly and it was the funniest thing ever trying to get them on my face but in the end they’re kinda cool
- When you take false nails off they hurt and my little finger was bleeding and JUST. WHY.
- –I could never be a fem, straight girl, or drag queen coz seriously who the fuck would that much effort on anything ever.
- Chinese people probably know what Lolita weeaboos are.
So I’ve finally managed to stop my dress falling apart, despite having lost the ability to use my hands functionally, and by now it’s too late to really go out and do anything (plus there’s the fear that my dress might fall apart again) so I take my outfit out for a short debut to Round The Corner To The Chinese Shop. So I’m walking along, feeling awesome – I can see my shadow bobbing along looking like Misa’s from Death Note.
I feel so kawaii that I start swinging my arms like the way girls do in anime.
This is how much of a loser I am.
So it’s not until I get to the Chinese restaurant that it starts to occur to me just how ridiculous I actually look. I mean, it’s pretty ridiculous. But who cares? It’s Halloween, and I’m not gonna bump into anyone I know, and even if I do, it’s Halloween.
Then it occurs to me that I’m in a Chinese Restaurant. Dressed as a fucking weeaboo.
Ok, it’s not a Japanese restaurant, but it’s still Asian. There’s still a strong possibility, for all I know, that I could be disrespecting their culture here somehow. I’m not entirely sure what the cross-over is among Asian culture. And baring in mind that this is a Chinese restaurant where all the employees are Chinese, they all speak Chinese, the menu is in Chinese, the till is in Chinese. It would be safe to assume that the majority of people who work there, and eat there, grew up and/or have spent a reasonable amount of their lives living in the country of China, in the continent of Asia, and among Asian culture.
How many people am I insulting here?
I go in and order my takeaway food. The guy who serves me is reasonably young and keeps staring at me. I can’t tell from his expression if he’s insulted, amused, or perhaps impressed. I’m trying to act as friendly and polite as possible, and completely normal like this is how I dress everyday and I’m not making some horrible mockery of Japanese fashion. When I get my bag out to pay he points to it and says: ‘L’.
Cue nervous laughing:
‘HA HA YES THAT IS HIM YES HA HA’
When he gives me my food, he places it in front of me, looks me up and down and sighs. Like, one of those I’m-audibly-rolling-my-eyes sighs. Again, I can’t tell if he’s acting amused or disapproving, but for once in my life I’m infinitely glad I look completely unrecognizable.
’cause I really like that restaurant.
- Next year I am going as a fucking witch or vampire or something and if I try to plan otherwise STOP ME