Monthly Archives: November 2012

And That’s What You Missed On Glee!: Glease pt 1

 

I know the actual episode was called The Role We Were Born To Play or such, but no one is ever going to remember that, or frankly call it anything other that ‘Glease Pt 1’, because that is what it is.

Plot convenience narrator informs us that Kurt and Blaine have broke. up, despite the fact that in the last episode Blaine said that he wasn’t sure if they had or not.

 

Blaine sings a heart broken rendition of Hopelessly Devoted To You, whilst looking over his completely healthy Ex-Boyfriend scrapbook.

 

It’s important to see how torn up and sorry Blaine is over his actions, and I feel sorry for the guy, but I can’t help but notice the irony of him singing how Devoted he is when he was the one that cheated on his boyfriend…

 

Meanwhile, in a storyline no one cares about, Artie convinces Finn to help out with the school musical, which Finn resentfully agrees to, in between bitching and whining about his total lack of substance and direction in life.

 

Mike and Mercedes make a pointless cameo!

 

Just when you thought the Fuck/NewQuinn/NewRachel love triangle was repetitive and unnecessary enough, Finn recruits a New Finn. Only this one doesn’t make you want to punch him the face!

 

They bond over plot convenience 80s-rock jukebox.

 

And poop.

 

I feel disappointed and slightly betrayed, that New Finn wasn’t recruited via shower, as according to Glee tradition.

 

New Finn joins the other three character replacements in a four-way.

 

With Blaine conveniently out of the running for Star Role due to a case of the blangst, the four try out for the lead romantic characters of the series- um I mean- musical- and to nobody’s surprise but their’s, the roles are cast to New Finn and New Rachel, dooming New Quinn and Fuck/NewPuck to lesser roles and character irrelevance and obscurity.

 

Speaking of, Tina has lines in this episode!

 

(Maybe they should go and make a baby or something, see where that gets them.)

In all seriousness, last episode was entirely dedicated to couples breaking up once one of them goes to university, and yet Tina and Mike get no mention? Their breakup is off screen and brushed over? And now, we get a grand total of 30 seconds dedicated to their break-up drama? That’s actually a lot better than I expected!

 

Now we get to the most, and possibly only, poignant moment in this pointless episode.

 

Finn stands up for Unique’s rights as a trans student, and for about 5 seconds Finn gains a smidgen of respect among Glee viewers!

I should have known that this was totally and completely out of character.

Don’t worry, those 5 seconds will end and balance will be restored.

Yup.

Remember in season 1 when Finn called Kurt a ‘fag’? Yeah.

And Burt laid into him about using that word and would he ever use the word ‘retarded’ against Becky? No, no of course I wouldn’t ever say that Mr. Hummel, said 16-year-old Finn.

And not only is Finn repeating the actions of his 16-year-old self, not only is he going against what he told Burt, that he would never use that word, and not only ignoring all of what Burt said to him, but he’s also being incredibly hypocritical by telling Sue that by being involved in the Glee club and having a kid with Downs Syndrome should have taught her to be better person, without, having himself been heavily involved with Glee club and accepting a gay step-brother as his own family, becoming a better person himself.
What this tells me is that to Finn, being angry allows people to use hurtful and offensive words. What this tells me about the show is that it allows it’s main characters, and Finn one of the show’s main and original focal characters, can get away with these actions without learning anything, without being punished. And still be considered a good guy. Still be considered a hero.

Finn has in two lines said things more offensive that Sue ever has in all her rantings and bigoted abuse. Sue is considered a bad character. Mean-spirited and offensive, but with redeemable and sympathetic qualities. Finn is seen as a praised and sympathetic character, but one that makes mistakes. You learn from mistakes. You grow, you mature. You become a better person. Finn has not. Finn is a douchebag, and apparently will always be a douchebag the way he’s acting.

Why he is a main character is beyond me.

And That’s What You Missed On Glee!

See you soon for Glease pt 2!

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Glee, TV

And That’s What You Missed On Glee!: Season 4, episodes 1-4 Re-cap

This week on Steve Complains About TV Shows:

The musical teen comedy/drama that continues to ruin my life on a daily basis: Glee.

How do I begin to explain Glee? Glee is like a drug, or a child that you have to love in spite of its flaws, or being in an abusive relationship. You just can’t quit, no matter how much crap you put up with. You know it’s bad, or wrong, or slowly destroying you from the inside out, but then an episode comes along where Santana confesses her love for her best friend Brittany, or Kurt overcomes homophobia and society’s views on gender roles and expression with a fabulous musical number, or Quinn and Rachel have extreme homo subtext, or Darren Criss… does anything, or something else homo-fabulous and uplifting happens (or something hetero-fabulous and uplifting although I can’t think of any examples fitting that description in this moment of time) and you get sucked back in. So you download a couple of hundred of the show’s auto-tuned songs, buy all the box sets, stay up til 2am to watch the new episodes on awful-quality streaming websites (if you’re not in the US) and spend hour upon hour letting out your feels and shipping feels and anger at Ryan Murphy feels on Tumblr or Livejounal or whatever social media site you happen to find Gleeks that share your opinions. You might read fanfiction (or at least the ones people keep going on about – coughcough, Dalton, Little Numbers, Go Your Own Way…) draw fanart, watch your favourite scenes and numbers over and over, cry into pillows at the perfectness of your favourite characters…

Ahem.

So Glee has returned. It would be an understatement to say I, and most people I know or know of, don’t have high expectations for this series. But you still have to watch it. You just – have to. As long as your characters (and homo-fabulousness) are still there, so will you be. That’s the curse of Glee.

So series 4 begins with a couple of bland and predictable episodes. In an attempt to seem vaguely meta, the first episode has Tina, Blaine, Brittany and Unique compete in a four-way sing-off for the title of ‘New Rachel’. Artie, in Mr. Shue’s apparent absence, has to choose the winner.

Guess who wins?

Hint: It’s not Tina.

LOL GOOD JOKE

[http://fabrayberry.tumblr.com/post/18066235352]

And it isn’t Blaine, the winner chosen by Artie, either – Unbeknownst to our cast the role of New Rachel actually ends up going to a character that I call ‘New Rachel’. Mainly because I can’t remember her actual name.

So this is New Rachel. Or, Newchel.

She’s good at singing. She’s poor and uncool. Her mum is the school’s lunch lady, who the kids are mean to because she’s fat.
That’s it.
That’s Newchel.

Let’s meet the other new characters, shall we??

Here we have the new Finn / Puck.

Let’s call him: Fuck.

This is Fuck.

He’s tough (like Puck), but secretly sensitive and likes singing (like Finn) and tries to hide it (like Finn). He has an absent dad (just like both Finn and Puck). He’s dating the popular girl (like Finn, and at one point also Puck) but secretly likes the uncool girl that’s good at singing (like Finn, and at one point also Puck). He’s also Puck’s half-brother, and Finn’s replacement as lead male. He’s Fuck.

Then, to complete the cliche love triangle that Glee is copying off itself, is new Quinn. We’re just gonna call her Quinn. I can’t be bothered to give her a new name. I’m pretty sure she’s actually just Quinn and this is another one of her ‘big plans’ to get back on top (I called it). After all, have we seen her recently? Got into Yale, huh?

So that’s Quinn.

Then, we have Unique.

We will call her Unique. Because she’s motherfucking amazing. Yes, ok, she’s the self-proclaimed love child of Kurt and Mercedes. Do we care? No. She’s two divas in one fabulous male body. Deal with it. That’s Unique.

Last of all we have Brody. He’s hot, metrosexual, and likes Rachel. He’s a minor character, and pretty much only around so Rachel can have a slutty phase. He’s basically the complete opposite of Finn in every conceivable way, which is why it’ll automatically never work out between him and Rachel,  but I like him so much that I bothered to learn his actual name.

Why do I like Brody, you ask?

Why that’s simple.

BECAUSE HE’S NOT FINN.

Do I ship Brody and Rachel, you ask? Why, you ask?

BECAUSE HE’S NOT FINN.

Because he’s funny, nice to Rachel, cute, respects Rachel, smart, isn’t a douche to Rachel, he has a nice body, and HE’S NOT FUCKING FINN.

Rule of Glee: If it’s not Finn, and they’re not being a dick to Rachel, I ship it. It’s simple, really.

(Unless it’s Quinn)

So, yeah. That’s Brody.

Whilst we’re getting to know all these lovely and totally interesting new characters, Rachel is at Uni and she’s having a horrible time.

Now, remember that episode in the first season when Kurt gave Rachel a makeover to look like a sad hooker clown and everyone learnt the importance of what’s on the inside, and not focusing on looks?

Well, this is all overturned when Rachel learns that looking good solves everything and makes you feel good!

All with some assistance from Kurt, who teaches us how to get fired from a job he was lucky to get and probably didn’t deserve in the first place when he breaks into the wardrobe department of a top New York fashion magazine. Luckily his boss is the Mary Poppins of the fashion world and totes doesn’t mind giving his BFF a makeover while they all try on $1000’s worth of clothes and sing a little song.

In the light of her new found slutdom,  Rachel almost burns down her loft apartment cooking a delicious vegan meal of duck for her new pal Brody, and they’re all about to get it on,

when in enters…………

COCKBLOCK HUDSON

Turns out Finn is just as useless as everyone thought, and managed to shoot himself in the leg with his own rifle. Despite this being hilarious and undoubtedly painful, he unfortunately makes a full recovery and is kicked out of the army, allowing him to return to our screens.

And just when  Mr Shue was leaving… we were this close, people.

Finn seems confused that Rachel has been seeing other guys when he broke up with her at the end of last season, and so hangs around for an episode trying to make his drama with Rachel as important and screen-worthy as the shit going down in Klaine and Brittana’s lives.

Blaine cheats on Kurt, and sings a heart-wrenching, acoustic cover of Teenage Dream, proving once again that Ryan Murphy is evil and feeds off the tears and angst of his viewers.

Kurt walks away from him through the medium of No Doubt, suggesting that the two might be over and done with (!)

Santana has a ~connection~ with a girl over a pile of Virginia Woolf books,

and decides it would be best to put things on hold with Brittany – who has been having some… issues in Santana’s absence –

while she gets the lesbian out of her system. Um, you know what I mean.

She sings You’re The Best Thing That’s Ever Been Mine, and the nations weep.

After that emotional roller coaster of an episode (preceded by a slow choo-choo train of episodes) the producers decided it best to give the fandom five weeks to cool off. Five weeks.

RIB = Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk (Writers and producers of Glee)

And That’s What You Missed On Glee!

See you soon for the re-cap of post-hiatus episode: The Role They Were Born To Play or something.

Leave a comment

Filed under Glee, TV

‘Tis the Season to be Scary! – Part 2 (post-Halloween post)

Happy Halloween!

So, in my last post I put some sneaky peeks to my Halloween costume when it was in it’s developing stages, so here we have it in it’s completed form:

I know, I know. I can’t help it, it’s a gift.

It was all going so well.

The dress was so beautiful I wanted to wear it on my wedding day.

When I was putting my wig and make up on I felt like I was looking at a completely different person in the mirror.

It was amazeballs.

But it looked like Halloween had a few tricks in plan for me.

Ha.

No, but seriously I have never had a costume that required so much preparation and yet caused so much trouble.

Here are some things I learnt that night:

  • Fake nails are just about the worst thing ever. 

Just.

Why.

You can’t pick up anything.

I couldn’t even use my phone. Seriously, what the fuck is up with that shit.

  • – actually, the only thing worse than false nails is nail glue.

IT GOT EVERYWHERE. My hands are were caked in the stuff.

It got on my TEETH.

HOW.

  • I should probably stop just safety pinning fabric together and calling them outfits. 

Ends badly. Especially when wearing fake nails.

  • False eyelashes are silly and it was the funniest thing ever trying to get them on my face but in the end they’re kinda cool

  • When you take false nails off they hurt and my little finger was bleeding and JUST. WHY.

  • I could never be a fem, straight girl, or drag queen coz seriously who the fuck would that much effort on anything ever.

  • Chinese people probably know what Lolita weeaboos are.

So I’ve finally managed to stop my dress falling apart, despite having lost the ability to use my hands functionally, and by now it’s too late to really go out and do anything (plus there’s the fear that my dress might fall apart again) so I take my outfit out for a short debut to Round The Corner To The Chinese Shop. So I’m walking along, feeling awesome – I can see my shadow bobbing along looking like Misa’s from Death Note.

I feel so kawaii that I start swinging my arms like the way girls do in anime.

This is how much of a loser I am.

So it’s not until I get to the Chinese restaurant that it starts to occur to me just how ridiculous I actually look. I mean, it’s pretty ridiculous. But who cares? It’s Halloween, and I’m not gonna bump into anyone I know, and even if I do, it’s Halloween.

Then it occurs to me that I’m in a Chinese Restaurant. Dressed as a fucking weeaboo.

Ok, it’s not a Japanese restaurant, but it’s still Asian. There’s still a strong possibility, for all I know, that I could be disrespecting their culture here somehow. I’m not entirely sure what the cross-over is among Asian culture. And baring in mind that this is a Chinese restaurant where all the employees are Chinese, they all speak Chinese, the menu is in Chinese, the till is in Chinese. It would be safe to assume that the majority of people who work there, and eat there, grew up and/or have spent a reasonable amount of their lives living in the country of China, in the continent of Asia, and among Asian culture.

How many people am I insulting here?

I go in and order my takeaway food. The guy who serves me is reasonably young and keeps staring at me. I can’t tell from his expression if he’s insulted, amused, or perhaps impressed. I’m trying to act as friendly and polite as possible, and completely normal like this is how I dress everyday and I’m not making some horrible mockery of Japanese fashion. When I get my bag out to pay he points to it and says: ‘L’.

Cue nervous laughing:

‘HA HA YES THAT IS HIM YES HA HA’

When he gives me my food, he places it in front of me, looks me up and down and sighs. Like, one of those I’m-audibly-rolling-my-eyes sighs. Again, I can’t tell if he’s acting amused or disapproving,  but for once in my life I’m infinitely glad I look completely unrecognizable.

’cause I really like that restaurant.

  • Next year I am going as a fucking witch or vampire or something and if I try to plan otherwise STOP ME

1 Comment

Filed under Personal Post