Miley Cyrus: Gay or Nay?

First of all, may I just say: Who cares?

Now this is a good question. On the one hand, it’s none of my business whether Miley, or anyone else besides, is gay or not. And it would, in all probability, in the long run, have little effect on my life. But on the other hand,

(I called it before the haircut, I’ll have you know. Just for the record.)

So I’m probably really late on this whole ‘big haircut news’ but to be honest, I don’t follow showbiz ‘news’ all that much, especially not about freaking Miley Cyrus, but the other day I remembered her existence and how much of a latent homosexual I’ve always suspected she was  (I can’t explain it, it’s a gift) and I decided to type ‘Miley Cyrus lesbian’ into Google to see what would pop up.

I’m sorry but, that is the gayest haircut ever.

And this isn’t just a dykey-esque pixie-cut like that’un out of Girls Aloud

The side of her head is shaved for good lord.

It’s got that messy Justin-Bieber-esque side fringe that pixie-cuts wished they could pull off

And it’s not just the hair:

Check out that nose-ring! And the plaid!

The bulldyke chains and the, ahem, short fingernails?

Does this one even need a caption?

Miley Cyrus is rockin’ the lesbian threads.

But could this all be a phase? A ploy to shock the media? Rebel her goody-goody image?

Well, duh. This is Miley we’re talking about. The girl who threw away her blonde wig, and worked a pole on stage at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards the moment she turned 16.

Remember when Britney made out with Madonna on stage? And Lindsey Lohan dated Sam Rodson? Of course you do. Everyone does. It was shocking and rebellious. Exactly the kind of attention Miley wants.

So she’s been having her way too – from fake making-out with backing dancers

 

to real making out in her movie,

 

and now she’s all for gay rights with her ‘love is equal’ tattoo

 

I dunno about you but it just looks like two little lines to me, but whatever

So is Miley a friend of Dorothy? Well, ok, no. Probably not…

Or is she?

 

No, ok probably not.

(But if she is I totally called it, K? K.)

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2 Comments

Filed under The Gay, What is this even

2 responses to “Miley Cyrus: Gay or Nay?

  1. Jessica

    SHE IS NOT GAY

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