Monthly Archives: October 2012

‘Tis the Season to be Scary!

It’s Halloween! The happiest time of year.

At least it is for me, whose inner child is a little emo kid

And my fiancée, who has an obsession for anything supernatural

It’s like second Christmas for us.
Great food, great films, tv specials, decorations…

Plus, dressing up!

So what are you dressing up as this year?

This year I am going as gothic Lolita kawaii weeaboo girl.

I decided this about six months ago when I grew a fancy for going on Etsy and looking at the really, really bad ‘kawaii Lolita’ things people were making and selling

My personal favourite, and inspiration for my costume, was this young lady at Weeabootique, who makes pixel-styled jewelry using perler beads

I wanted to purchase some of her items especially for Halloween, but I couldn’t on an account of me having no money, and my fiancée refusing to be seen with me wearing a giant necklace that reads ‘MPreg’

I can’t see why.

So instead, I made my own!

I only burnt a hole in one of the sheets of tracing paper, and the grid thingy was only slightly warped…

For the next part of my costume I put my lovely hand-made rainbow tutu (held together by nothing but safety pins and dreams) and pinned in up inside a dress I never wear and pinned a fetching rainbow bow on the front.

I’ll probably end up with pins sticking out of me, but damn will I look fabulous.

Next, my trusty black wig, that has seen many a costume, and this will probably have to be it’s last performance due to it kinda looking like a rat’s tail by this point:

My costume does bare a slight likeness to last year’s, when I was Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way – aka. Enoby the goffik vampire witch mary-sue protagonist from the beautifully awful Harry Potter fanfiction My Immortal.

And uses elements of my Pride outfit from this year, where I was ‘obnoxiously rainbow obsessed person’

Partly because I figure: rainbows = kawaii, goffik = gothic Lolita, and reusing costumes = money saved.

I love dressing up, but I can’t make costumes for shit. My skills include safety pinning, and spending hours in charity shops and 99p stores.

If, like me, you have trouble coming up with costumes here are some handy last-minute, small-effort, budget, ideas for your Halloween get-ups!

Vampire

Vampirate

Hologram

Christian Grey (from 50 Shades Of Grey)
– grey tie
– something that can be read as ‘kinky’ – handcuffs, a ruler…

To finish off, here are some Halloween themed links –
FuckNoSexistHalloweenCostumes is a blog comparing male costumes to their female equivalents, to see just how shockingly ridiculous they are.

What’s particularly interesting is how the blogger replies to people commenting ‘why are posting this?’ ‘Whats the big deal?’ ‘Why don’t you just shop in the men’s section?’ ‘Why don’t you just make your own outfits?’. What she points out is that these sexist outfits should not be the only option for females shopping for Halloween costumes. What she points out is the message this entails and the expectations for women on Halloween. Also, that’s it’s hard to make your own costumes or to find male ones that fits, and we shouldn’t have to do this just to find an outfit that covers our asses!

On the subject of prejudices and sexism in costume-wearing, this video highlights people’s attitudes towards little boys or little girls wanting to wear costumes designed for the opposite sex.

The woman at the end of the video really made me happy, not only because she was saying that parents should love and accept their kids for who they are, but when she said the mother should be glad that her daughter wants to be Spider-man because it shows that she wants to be strong. I just loved this. I wish someone would have stood up for the little boy wanting to be a princess though, as it’s far less widely acceptable for a boy to want to be pretty and not ‘fight’ like the soldiers and ninjas he was offered.

I’d like to then lastly link to the Raising My Rainbow blog, about a mother and her young gender- nonconforming son. Last year he dressed as a character from Monster High (think, Supernatural Bratz), and this year as a fairy from Winx, both of which his family are completely fine with. However there are other factors such as how other people will take it, how the little boy and his older brother will deal with bullying… it’s a lovely blog generally.

 

So have fun! Be fabulous! Happy Halloween!

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Miley Cyrus: Gay or Nay?

First of all, may I just say: Who cares?

Now this is a good question. On the one hand, it’s none of my business whether Miley, or anyone else besides, is gay or not. And it would, in all probability, in the long run, have little effect on my life. But on the other hand,

(I called it before the haircut, I’ll have you know. Just for the record.)

So I’m probably really late on this whole ‘big haircut news’ but to be honest, I don’t follow showbiz ‘news’ all that much, especially not about freaking Miley Cyrus, but the other day I remembered her existence and how much of a latent homosexual I’ve always suspected she was  (I can’t explain it, it’s a gift) and I decided to type ‘Miley Cyrus lesbian’ into Google to see what would pop up.

I’m sorry but, that is the gayest haircut ever.

And this isn’t just a dykey-esque pixie-cut like that’un out of Girls Aloud

The side of her head is shaved for good lord.

It’s got that messy Justin-Bieber-esque side fringe that pixie-cuts wished they could pull off

And it’s not just the hair:

Check out that nose-ring! And the plaid!

The bulldyke chains and the, ahem, short fingernails?

Does this one even need a caption?

Miley Cyrus is rockin’ the lesbian threads.

But could this all be a phase? A ploy to shock the media? Rebel her goody-goody image?

Well, duh. This is Miley we’re talking about. The girl who threw away her blonde wig, and worked a pole on stage at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards the moment she turned 16.

Remember when Britney made out with Madonna on stage? And Lindsey Lohan dated Sam Rodson? Of course you do. Everyone does. It was shocking and rebellious. Exactly the kind of attention Miley wants.

So she’s been having her way too – from fake making-out with backing dancers

 

to real making out in her movie,

 

and now she’s all for gay rights with her ‘love is equal’ tattoo

 

I dunno about you but it just looks like two little lines to me, but whatever

So is Miley a friend of Dorothy? Well, ok, no. Probably not…

Or is she?

 

No, ok probably not.

(But if she is I totally called it, K? K.)

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October 18, 2012 · 3:33 pm

GIRLS (It’s a show about girls.)

I decided to watch the recently released HBO series Girls, expecting it to be full of ridiculous stereotypes of young women whose lives revolve around shoe-shopping, but was pleasantly surprised to find this not be the case. Instead Girls is a show about some Girls who are privileged, entitled, hip, irresponsible and generally unlikable, who supposedly we’re meant to feel sympathetic towards because they don’t get a job after they made a date rape joke in the interview. The only character on this show I even slightly feel pity for is the one that is by definition ‘bitchy and a control-freak’, as she’s the only one that seems to have even the slightest bit of common-sense.

This does not, however, necessary mean that they are not some-what realistic and arguably relatable. The show’s tag line is after all ‘Living The Dream, One Mistake At A Time’, and make mistakes they do. From getting pregnant to missing their abortion appointment because they’re hooking up with a guy they’ve just met – we’ve all done stuff like that, right?

And they get naked a lot. Like, around each other. They shower together. Have meaningful conversations whilst one of them is on the loo. One of the opening scenes is two of the girls snuggling together in bed. I honestly had a hard time understanding at first that Girls wasn’t a show about lesbians. But maybe this is my problem, as a gay woman. I don’t completely understand the concept of platonic friends being that comfortable and close with one another. Is this something straight girls do often?

And here is where I recognise another problem I have with this show Girls. This is a show about heterosexual women. I don’t have a problem with this of course, if I did I’d only watch The L WordLip Service, and Sugar Rush – Which are all awful shows. Shows purely created for lesbians to watch and say ‘Oh yeah, I’ve totally done that’, and for the rest of the world to watch and see ‘how the other half live’. And it’s a bunch of crap. Just because it’s full of some cliches and exaggerations of situations that may or may not occur in this minorities’ life, doesn’t mean it’s an accurate representation. You know what I mean? But that’s what Girls is doing – it’s the heterosexual version of The L Word. So there’s story lines involving pregnancy and abortions, and being treated like crap by men, smear tests, and other things involving having a vagina, you know. Oh, and making out with girls. I mean properly making out, for several minutes – coz straight girls do that all the time. I don’t mean to point out the obvious here but – Isn’t that kind of sending out the wrong message? That heterosexual women occasionally and spontaneously makeout with each other, just for fun? No, ok I see, sorry, it was totally cool, coz the guy wasn’t getting in on it, and it was all awkward and totally funny… Yeah I get it…

These girls are not gay, bisexual, or bi-curious. They are just kissing. Which is fine. But, this is how they’re representing exclusively straight, young women. Am I the only one that finds this strange?

The only reason I will continue to watch the show is because I’m convinced that the show is subtly mocking these characters. After all its a show about a generation of young people suffering because they are unable to ‘live the life they want’, i.e. have successful careers doing something they’re interested in, or creating ‘art’ whilst living in stylish inner city apartments paid by their parents – and you expect us to not think this is ironic?

To be fair this is a show that speaks to a generation whose understanding of the New York lifestyle is based on tv shows such as Sex In The City (that interesting enough, this show sets up a parallel with in the pilot episode with one of the characters trying to diagnose themselves with the varying characteristics of SITC‘s protagonists), a show with women in successful, satisfying careers, and power over their own lives, with little insight into how they got there. It can be assumed that Carrie and co. got financial help from their parents in the early stages of their working lives, or at least walked into well-paying jobs with promising futures with little difficulty.

We can see this show as a response to young people from well-off families coming out of university today with plans (not dreams, plans) of ‘making it’ in the big city, only to have their expectations stamped on by the reality of the current economy, which brings me to the conclusion that there would only be two reasons why someone would watch this show. A) If they are also part of this generation, and relate with the characters and realities of their situations whilst being self-aware that they too are probably as spoilt, entitled and irresponsible as the characters. Or,glasses B) if they like laughing at the misfortunes of these types of people.

Being an English Lit and Drama graduate working part time at a supermarket and spending the rest of my time watching tv, half-arsedly blogging and complaining about why no one will employ me, I’d like to think I fit somewhere in both categories. I don’t, however, spend the money I don’t have for rent on drugs, or expect that I can at the age of 21 get away with dedicating my life to ‘art’ if I have send rent to pay.

Anyway, Girls. It’s a show about girls.

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WHO-CAP: Dinosaurs! On A Spaceship! In Space!

Today I bring you a recap of Dinosaurs On A Spaceship, written by Chris Chibnall, whose previous Who-Verse work and what can be expected from any given episode by him was covered in an earlier post of mine. The short version: Drink every time there’s fanservice. This can be sexy/homoerotic fanservice, or just gimmicky fanservice. Also, drink every time there’s something horrific – like genocide, or sexual abuse, or anything else that will probably haunt your nightmares in a way a Dr Who episode probably shouldn’t. Making you terrified of everyday objects: normal. Making you terrified of people on the street murdering and raping you: not normal. This is a family sci-fi show, not Crimewatch.

So Chris Chibnall sits down to write an episode of Doctor Who. A show watched by middle-aged nerds and little kids alike. What are things that both nerds and children like?

So here’s an episode that’s about dinosaurs. On a spaceship.

Which doesn’t sound at all like fanservice.

An Egyptian Queen is flirting with the Doctor. Just another day in the TARDIS! Also, is this fanservice or

Let me sniff you, Doctor…

O-face? Fanservice?

Hooter sounds? And it’s a kid’s show again.

“Great, have you come to sort out these giant floating letters in the sky?”

What a charmer.

Of course it is, she’s Amy fucking Pond. Everything she does is fucking perfect. EVEN HOLDING LADDERS MOTHERFUCKER.

Rory is mocking goody-two-shoes Amy. I like Rory. I’ll miss him when they’re inevitably left behind by the Doctor.

I better put a cut around here because this is gonna be a big one folks – Warnings for excessive images, whining, whinging, and spoilers.

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Steve learns a lesson

So I have fancy rats, and all the handbooks and websites etc. say NEVER EVER put your hand between two rats fighting coz you will get bitten. Now because I’ve raised all of my rats from youth and I’m an idiot and don’t care about getting the occasional nip or even hard chomp, I do it anyway. Nothing bad has ever happened in the year I’ve owned rats.

Only we recently got a rat from a breeder who was putting the ol’ girl up for retirement, so she’s already old and grown up and not so used to me, my scent, my hands, or the way I do things. So she’s at the other cage of rats (there’s two cages and they are each others’ sworn nemeses) and they’re nibbling, grabbing, hissing, and generally threatening each other and I’ve stopped her several times by this point and kinda pissed off that she’s not listening to me, so – because, as I said, I’m an idiot – I grab her. From behind.

She turns. And she’s bites me.

Hard.

I’m not surprised. She was in full attack mode, her back arched, hissing like a cat. If she had fur (she’s hairless) it would have been standing on end. And she was probably scared shitless, being grabbed like that. They are genetically prey animals, after all. And she’s only known me about three weeks.

One of the others, Crispies, who is always pissing off her opposing cage and has a bit of an attitude generally, always turns around to defend herself when I pick her up during a brawl, but never bites. Shes like, these are my teeth. I could attack if I wanted. I’m a big scary mouse. Don’t mess with me. And I’m like, silly Crispies you won’t bite me and she’s like, K but only coz I love you and you feed me.

Sometimes she’ll then lick me. And the brawl will be left forgotten (until next time…).

Maybe little hairless mouse hasn’t come to love me yet. Maybe she’s dealt with some tough broads in her time, I don’t know.

But she didn’t take kindly to being suddenly grabbed from behind, so she grabbed back. With her teeth. She sunk ’em in. And she didn’t let go. I lifted my hand, and she didn’t let go.

She punctured my hand. 

The weirdest part was that she bit me in the webbed part between my thumb and forefinger. When I detached her from my hand, there was no blood.

She had bitten right through the skin, but I couldn’t see muscle or blood on the other side.

So that was how I learnt the hard way that hands are hollow.

[My beautiful artwork, illustrating the scene. Accurate representation of my hair.]

But yeah, there was a hole in my hand. I could see into my hand.

A few seconds later the blood from the broken skin came gushing and my fiancée had to get a plaster.

We think the new little ratty might me ill, or at least stressed, and we’re taking her to the vets the day after tomorrow just in case. Nothing like that has ever happened to us before, and we have a couple of chompers. But I have read that injuries like that can happen, almost always at the fault of the human that was bitten. So I guess I learned my lesson.

I hope this post effectively freaked/grossed you out.

Also I’d like to take this opportunity to say, rats are great pets! They’re are seriously lovely and wonderful and fun and cute and fluffy and gorgeous! But don’t ever grab a rat when it’s fighting. I learnt this the hard way.

Also that hands are hollow.

 

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